With the all the activities of my three kids, our family time is shrinking. Every day is playdates, sports, games etc. I was never going to overschedule my kids and I don’t think we did. It’s just with three kids, school and trying to keep up with social stuff, we’ve lost our family time. How do I avoid overscheduling my kids? Asked by Regina – Littleton, CO
Regardless of your kids’ ages, juggling their schedules is difficult when they are involved in a variety of activities. It gets challenging as kids approach middle school years and beyond, so start making changes now if you can. I am also a mother of three and constantly find myself spinning in all directions and trying to find any opportunity to connect as a family unit. One thing we try to do on most weeknights is have dinner together. Granted, my husband misses most meals if he’s not home by 6pm, but at least I can sit down with the kids for a quick meal and we can talk about the day or things that are happening that week. Some days I feel the only time I get to talk to my kids is when I’m driving to/from sports practices. I usually turn off the radio on those crazy days and talk to them or ask them about school, etc. Also, my kids would have play dates every chance they could, but I limit their friend time to two afternoons per week. With sports, music lessons, homework, etc. there just isn’t enough time in the day to fit it all in. But family time is key to keep communication going between you and your children. Instead of TV time or if you have 20 minutes in the evening, playing a board game or fun activity is another great way to spend some time together. It doesn’t have to be a big block of time, just make it uninterrupted time when you and your children can be together. Marjorie – 30 something
I hear ya! I have 3 kids as well, and feel like I live in my car. My best advice is to not feel guilty for saying No. It is a blessing to have kids that want to experience all the world has to offer, but they won’t experience very much if they are exhausted. We have had to explicitly say they can only do 1 sport at a time, as well as only 1 instrument. Something my boys all wanted to do but I had to say No to: Boy Scouts. I just couldn’t figure out how we would fit it in.
We also make sure to block out time for the family to spend all in the same place at the same time, especially on Sundays. And as you pull your hair out, and try to detach your butt from the driver’s seat in your worn-out minivan, pat yourself on the back for being a good Mom who is supporting her kids. Amy C. – 40 something
It is really easy to get over-scheduled especially with three children! My biggest tip is to look at your calendar for the next month and find one or two days that you can block out completely. Usually Sundays are the best bet. If you cannot find an entire day, find 2 half-days that you can block out and then protect that time (like a mother bear!) when opportunities arise to fill it. Jamee – 40 something
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or family time to be a priority, you and your husband have to make it a priority. We ALWAYS had family dinner Sun to Thur. Friday and Saturday we did not because of sports or sleep overs etc. When the kids got older (in college) we changed to Sunday breakfast. It was our time to reconnect and catch up. We also had 1 night a week that was a no TV night. We listened to the radio (reruns of old time radio shows like Whistler, Lone Ranger, etc.) or played board games. The kids, now in their 40’s still talk about these times fondly. I say this, but we were lucky as both my husband and I had jobs with regular hours. I think you just have to find what works for you and your family. Helene – 60 something
You are running on a schedule, and the more kids, the more running! As far as “family time” goes, it changes with different stages of parenting. As children grow socially, developing their own interests there will be less time for family gatherings. More time will be spent as what I call a “sideline parent,” where you may not be directly interacting with your child, but observing to make certain they are adjusting well in whatever endeavor they pursue.
Learn to be creative in your time with them. While they are helping with chores like cooking dinner, unloading the dishwasher or folding clothes, talk to them about things other than homework, lessons, or what needs to be done around the house. Take scenic drives, have family movie or game nights. Take them one or two at a time to do different things. Be firm about limiting screen time, including yours with your Blackberry or smart phone, and fix your interest on each other. Check the Sunday paper for weekly activities and events some or all of you might enjoy. Play duets on the piano. Hook up the karaoke machine. Hit the driving range. Go horseback riding. The key is to provide variety so family time in whatever form you can manage is beneficial to all of you and not so scheduled so as to become stagnant and just another “thing my parents make me do.” Marge – 70 something
