A mothers second home is her car. A lot of life happens in the family car, for example, eating, playing, relationship building, time outs, crying and the occasional boxing match. Therefore it needs new optional equipment in the family car to help her remain sane and comfortable on her road of parenting. May we suggest…
A Built in Garbage Management System (GMS). Food takes up residence under the car seats and continues to reproduce. There are empty latte cups, Glad Meal toys, various Lego’s, Barbie shoes, and carrots that were hidden under the passenger seat. The “It’s not mine!” item is the most popular, this is the item no one seems to own, or wants to pick up. When asked whose it is, all kids plead ignorance and the van clears out. To solve the garbage and unclaimed items issue we suggest a GMS be installed in the doors or ceiling where each kid could throw items in and the GMS would suck it up, compact it, sort it and take it to the appropriate place.
Stop Fighting Button – An additional button installed on the dashboard could be pushed to activate dividers to separate fighting siblings. Masks would drop down from the ceiling to supply oxygen and keep them quiet until mom regains her composure. This would create a solid barrier between each seat in the car. So, taunting, burps, boogers launching, or slinging of insults could not penetrate it. In the front seat your favorite song from high school would start to play and you would be in your mom happy place.
All Inclusive Dispenser – Items might include specially designed ear plugs that filter out kid sounds or ibuprofen, wipes, chocolate, and a coffee machine. Said tool dispenser would only be available in the front seat, therefore eliminating anyone under the age of 13 access. For the passengers in the back seat the dispenser would hand out, bottles, water, wipes, snacks, and band aids upon request.
Alarm Button – This would activate an alarm that would pick up any dropped item from a child passenger and hand it back to said child with a complementary pat on the head. This would eliminate the back twisting maneuver moms endure 53 times a day.
Automated Parenting Question and Answer System – This would help solve immediate parenting issues that seem to always come up in the car. A large red button with the word ‘Help’ on it would be installed on the steering wheel. Voice recognition software would be available for you to state a parenting problem and it would respond with a customized response based on the situation unraveling around you. It would be an OnStar network for moms.
Yup, a lot of living takes place in those family cars. Now if we could just get all the passengers actually in the car at the same time and on time to our destination.
