Do You Ever Want to Escape Your Kids?

It's OK, it's normal

escape your kids

Sometimes I go to the bathroom for peace and quiet and wish an escape hatch existed under the toilet lid. I lock the door to my oasis, and have privacy, plentiful water and a good seat to sit on.  A bonus is the reading material near by. The fan buzzes loud enough to drown out sibling fighting occurring in the kitchen. It’s my slice of privacy that lasts about three  minutes.


I enter the bathroom after a round of arguing over a purple ball.  One of the kids finds me and peeks under the door.

“Whatcha doin’?  Can I come in?” he asks.

“I am cleaning the bathroom, would you like to help?”  I answer to silence and footsteps running away.

That buys me a few more moments of bathroom time.  I sit enjoying my solitude, with only the toothpaste gunk and fingerprints on the mirror as company.

I thought once my kids were older and finished with temper tantrums I wouldn’t need to escape.  When kids are under five, a mom needs a break to face another day.  Only so many temper tantrums, diapers and band aid sticks can you handle.  But as the kids get older, they are louder and sibling fights need a sound proof room. Private bathroom time becomes an absolute treasure.


“Mom, you in there?” Alpha asks.

“Mom, can we have a snack?” Bravo asks.

“Yes,” I answer while daydreaming about sand between my painted red toes, and an umbrella drink was cooling my palms.

“Um, Mom?  Where’s the peanut butter?” They ask.

“In the pantry, second shelf,” I answer.

“Are we out of bread?”


“We can’t reach the plates, can you help us?”

Silence.  I employ the ‘I’ll be silent and they will forget where I am’ routine.  It survives for 1 minute.


“Mommmmm! He’s using up all the peanut butter!”

Silence.  I look around at my temporary holding place, it won’t last much longer.

“Mommmmm! He’s using up all the bread!”

“No, I’m not!  He’s breathing on me!”

I turn the fan and the faucet on to high and drown out the arguing.


As I contemplate my next move, I hear nothing. There is no fighting, yelling or clanking of jars.  Silence while your children are at home causes a fear only mothers understand.

My three minutes are up.


About Tracy Heins 144 Articles
No Makeup Required (NMR) was founded in 2009 for you, and it has nothing to do with makeup.(Read why here) Here you will find inspiration, encouragement, wisdom, a new book, a new career...or yourself. We bring women from history and the present together to inspire YOU to be your OWN woman. We believe beauty is defined by being who you are. What's keeping you from being you? ...It's not you, it's The Masks. (Read more here) We work hard everyday giving you content to remove those masks. Welcome to a new kind of website for women.


  1. So you mean to tell me that when they get older than 5 it doesn’t stop and I still can’t get any peace in the bathroom? Oh man…my 4 and 2 year old have NO respect for me and my privacy! If I don’t lock the door, they just barge right in and won’t leave until I finish doing what I’m doing! :-/ Stopping by from SITS.

  2. Happy SITS Day! My friend does this! She hides in the bathroom to avoid her son and to have a quiet phone conversation!

  3. You are the queen of catching a few minutes to yourself. I remember when my three kids were growing up, I don’t think I ever went to the bathroom alone. EVER. And, now with a dog, it’s the same thing. I go to the bathroom (of course I leave the door open now, there is no one home) And, you got it, I get hunted down by my dog. He casually walks by the door first, and then runs in, turns around so his butt is facing me and backs up, asking me to scratch him while I’m on the toilet! He’s hilarious! It’s his favorite time to get his butt and back scratched. What a riot! There is no hiding. Ever. Unless you live completely alone. Completely!

  4. Congratulations on being the SITS featured blogger. My kids are grown and gone and have kids of their own now, but I still remember occasionally seeking sanctuary in the bathroom!

  5. Yes! I often go to get a minute or two of peace in the bathroom… LOL. With a 5 and 3 year-old it really doesn’t last long, but enough to catch my breath and regroup.

    Happy SITS day!

  6. Happy SITS Day! I hope you had a great day. I love your blog; the whole premise behind it and everything. I especially like all of the various areas you delve into – gives me something to think about doing with my blog.

    Again, I hope your Featured Blogger day was all that you thought it would be and more and…
    Merry Christmas too!

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