You have a baby. Nurse places new baby in your arms. You love your baby immediately. And you have no idea what to do next.
You read parenting books and magazines for information. As the baby grows you continue to read magazines and books about how to feed, potty train or which preschool to choose. Those pages tell you the written rules of parenthood, but there are unwritten rules that no one tells you about.
But I will.
- You will be spit up on by your baby prior to date night or leaving for work, more than once.
- Diaper blow outs happen right after you use the last diaper or in the middle of the grocery store while you have a full cart.
- Your 7 year old will tell a group of people that you snore and drool when you sleep or some other embarrassing fact.
- Your teenager will state, “You NEVER do anything for me!” right after you hand over the car keys to the car you just gassed up and made the insurance payment for.
- An emergency room or school nurse visit will happen when you haven’t showered or brushed your teeth. A bonus is you probably will have no makeup or clean underwear on either.
- Your child will forget his lines at the play, strike out for the whole game, or be left out of a party. You will feel their pain.
- Kids will get hurt. You will need to be calm even though inside you are completely losing it.
- Your toddler will have a temper tantrum in front of an the group of picture perfect moms.
- Your child will think you are weird, an embarrassment to them, and that you don’t know anything, all before the age of 16. However, at 16 years of age, you gain considerable power with being the owner of the keys to the car.
- Just once your child will be the loudest on the plane, train or theater full of people.
Bonus Unwritten Rule: It all goes by very fast. Stop and enjoy everything, even the 10 laws above.