Fortune Cookies for a Stressed Mom

My fortune cookie read, “You will meet with success soon”.  My kids informed me if you eat the paper fortune, it will come true. I ate the cookie and the fortune in one bite. I had not eaten paper since a 5^th grade spit-wad contest but I figured if it meant I was meeting with success soon, it would be OK.

I realized my definition of success changed over the years.

Success to me is finding the bottom of my laundry basket before my kids leave the house.  Or showing up on the correct day for an appointment, not a week early or late. Or being able to be myself and not worry about what other people think.

I decided there should be fortune cookies just for women.

Feel free to print them and eat them as recommended by my kids.  Who knows, maybe they will come true?

Fortunes for Women

“The socks in the laundry will all match-up”

“Your husband will be able to locate items on his own”

“Your children will not fight with each other on weekends”

“You will have wonderful dreams involving Brad Pitt”

“You will find alone time in a locked bathroom or clean car”

“A member of your family will soon do something without you having to ask”

“You will step on a Lego…and it won’t hurt”

“You will witness a special graduation”

“You will walk into a room and remember why you are there”

“Your ability to multitask will take you far”

“Diapers will soon be a thing of the past”

“The eyes in the back of your head will only sharpen with age”

“Self confidence grows with every passing year”

“Always listen to your mommy radar”

“You will achieve all your desires and pleasures”

“It takes courage to confront a two year old”

“You are not the only one who can’t fold a fitted sheet”

“You will be blessed with a wrapper and crumb free car”

“All your work is worth it”

“You’re OK just the way you are”

“Your life is your own…own it”

Happy eating!