10 Changes in Date Night Now That You Are a Mother

Date night is a term that means, “the parents are going out to get away from the kids to spend alone time together because they forgot what the other person looks like or who the other person is without a baby in their arms, hair in a ponytail or refereeing sibling fighting.”

Date nights are a time to dine without crayons, kid’s menus or cups with straws.  There is no back talk, arguing or siblings breathing on each other in the booth. You can finish a conversation without interruption and the food tastes better because you didn’t cook it.

Some things that have changed in the ‘dating scene’…

It’s ok if you didn’t shower, as long as your hair has been washed in the last 2 days you’ll be ok.

Instead of dabbing perfume on your neck, dab a little on the shoulder of your clothes to mask the smell of spit up.

You can order spaghetti, broccoli or spinach salad if you want.  He’s seen you give birth; a little spinach on your teeth won’t faze him.

Either one of you can pay the bill.  It all comes out of the same pot anyway.

You can eat as much as you want at dinner.  He brought you double hamburgers while you were pregnant, he won’t care.

You don’t have to hide the pimple on your face by hiding it under your hand.  He saw it in all its glory that morning and rated it a 7 out of 10.

You don’t have to worry if he’ll call after the date.

No need to call your best friend after the date to analyze every move.  He’s your best friend now.

The phrase, “What are you thinking?” won’t even occur to you to ask. You already know the answer.

As for the, “Will he kiss me tonight?” question…well, you know the answer to that one.