How to Respond to a Competitive Woman

Tools for real life

competitive woman

How do you respond to a competitive woman?

Here’s the standard answer.

“They’re just insecure. It has nothing to do with you.”

Um, ok, but that doesn’t help you when you’re standing face to face with a competitive woman you’d like to drop kick across the soccer field.

That would be completely not cool and you’d end up on social media, or worse yet, the grapevine in the neighborhood.

So what’s a woman to do?

Usually our own jealous side appears when confronted with a competitive statement or action.

Imagine this scenario. You know the drill. You’re at a neighborhood party and the conversation goes something like this.

“How are the kids?” you ask your neighbor, while sipping lemonade.

“John is playing select Lacrosse and Sally is starting ballet. She loves it and her teacher said she has talent,” your neighbor answers.

Innocent enough.

But the human side of you starts comparing your kids with her kids and if they are also playing select sports and have any talent worth sharing. Why the competition? She answered your question, right? It’s normal, you’re human and protecting your kids.

How do you respond?

Well, if your neighbor is a competitive mom, your defenses were already high because you cringe every time you’re around her. So, just keep sipping your lemonade and try not to accidentally spill it on her. Excuse yourself as quickly as possible. “That’s great! Too much lemonade. I have to find the bathroom.” Bathroom breaks are always a way out of a conversation. A competitive mom’s actions towards you, HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. It does have to do with her feeling like she needs to read her kids resume to everyone so she feels like a good mom.

Move on, it’s her problem.

However, if your neighbor is a moderate mom (which is 99% of women), then she answered your question and your reaction is up to you. Why are you feeling competitive? Did your son not make the team? Is your daughter still struggling to find her talent? Instead of thinking about what your kids aren’t doing, think about what they are doing. You’re their mom. You know their talents and gifts. Your son has a gift for acting or your daughter is brilliant at making people laugh. Lower down the defenses and respond with a couple of tidbits on what your brood is up to. Chances are you’ll both change the subject to what movie you have seen or book you are reading. Enjoy the conversation and more importantly, her friendship.

So, when dealing with a competitive woman?

Smile and excuse yourself as soon as possible and don’t enter her arena. It’s about her, don’t make it about you.

When dealing with a moderate woman?

Respond in kind and enjoy the conversation and friendship.




About Tracy Heins 143 Articles
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