Breaking up with a friend is hard. You have broken up with boyfriends in the past, but girlfriends? Maybe not so much. In fact, our girlfriends help us through boyfriend breakups. However, conflict arises in friendships and we have to answer the question, “Should you end a friendship or hold on and ride out the conflict?”
In these situations, would you break up with your girlfriend?
- Mary gossiped behind Nancy’s back and Mary found out about it.
- Susan is mad at Daisy, because Daisy flirted with Susan’s husband at a summer BBQ.
- Kristy just received a job promotion and big raise and purchased a new BMW and Beth drives a 1997 Camry.
- Kelly graduated with an MBA and landed a fabulous new position while Betty stays home.
- Ann constantly criticizes Amy about her life and offers how to do things better.
- Jessica competes with Lynn, making verbal digs to her, about everything including their kid’s achievements.
- Kathleen has a star athlete and Karen’s son can’t even kick a ball.
- Bridgette just seems to do everything well and have a perfect life and Chasity feels less than Bridgette.
Each of the above situations causes conflict in a friendship and in a couple of the instances, the friendship is in turmoil. But can we work it out with our girlfriend or is the situation beyond repair? Or is the conflict within ourselves because we feel in competition with our girlfriend? Women do compete, sadly, at the expense of the friendship. Most often, hidden behind fake smiles and jabs behind the girlfriends back.
So, what is a girlfriend to do?
It’s been my experience, some women let friendships fade away without ever talking to the friend. We become busy when our friend calls or distant when we are out with her. Sometimes, we even come up with reasons why we don’t like our friend just to justify our own actions or feelings. We say, “See, I was right, she is a _____.” The friendship fades away with one party having no clue what happened.
Does this serve the friendship?
Friendship is a balance of acceptance between each person. Acceptance of failure AND the acceptance of success AND the acceptance of us as women. Women are under a tremendous amount of pressure from marriage, motherhood, careers, and the neighborhood. We need each other for support and companionship. We need to remember what brought the friendship together in the first place and get over ourselves and our insecurities.
We all want close friends who accept us for who we are, our girlfriends deserve the same from us. However, if the friendship has turned toxic it may be time to let go. If it isn’t toxic and it’s about jealousy or competition, resolve to accept the feelings you have as normal and they will fade and continue the friendship or talk about it with your friend.
Friendships are life’s gift.