The latest study is an on-board watch dog in your mind. It streams in from the news, magazines, drug ads, or word of mouth and sets up shop in your head to remind you that you are not living your life the way you should. It’s like having your Mother with you 24-7 asking if you’ve eaten your vegetables.
“Did you hear about the ‘latest study’ regarding sleep?” June asked with eyebrows raised in anticipation.
“No,” I answered while slathering on 45spf sunscreen.
“Well, it recommends 8 hours of sleep for women over the age of 30 who live in the western hemisphere, whose mother’s names start with the letter “R,” she said.
I slept for 8.25 hours last night; my mother’s name begins with an “M”, so I think I am safe.
“What happens if we don’t get the recommended 8 hours of sleep?” I ponder while sipping my organic fair trade coffee in a 50% post-consumer waste cup.
“They said it could lead to early stages of forgetfulness but can be countered by eating five pieces of coconut by noon,” she answered while reaching into her purse for a snack.
“I wonder if you need to eat Hawaiian or Brazilian coconuts.” I asked.
“I don’t know, but I bet if its organic coconut, it helps,” she said while eating her 12 juggie berries. The juggie berry, based on the ‘latest study’, is supposed to increase your energy level, but only if you eat 12 and before lunch.
We both pause and contemplate the coconut.
“I just heard this morning on the radio that if you eat with your left hand rather than your right it increases the absorption of vitamin D,” June added.
“That contradicts the study last month that said we should eat with our right hand to decrease the amount of toxins,” I said confused. “Now what?”
The latest study follows you everywhere with its new information and guidelines. From toilet paper to what car you should drive, we can’t escape it. Sometimes you just want to sit and eat a box of donuts while playing video games all day and ignore everything.
But if I go against the ‘latest study’ will I turn into dust at dawn?
June and I wrap up our conversation and walk to our hybrid cars. We feel pretty good about trying to follow the latest information. As I am driving I hear on the radio that if you drive before 9am on weekends the chance of you catching a cold go up by 50%. The clock reads 8:59. I take off anyway and chance it.
After all, there will be another study to follow…
