The path to motherhood may seem like a simple one, but for some women, the path takes a different turn. Infertility is a difficult journey and a private one. Kelly, a new mom from San Francisco, has been on that journey and is willing to share her story with you. Let’s meet Kelly.
“Every month you wish and hope that it will be your turn to pee on the pregnancy test and have a positive result. I began to feel defective, less of a woman.”
I appreciate you discussing your path to motherhood with readers of NoMakeupRequired. Let’s start at the beginning. Why did you want to become a mom? Like every girl, I dreamed of getting married and having a family. After three years of marriage, my husband and I started trying to have a baby. We were ready. But nature didn’t agree.
What happened? Well, I went off the pill, and figured within six months I would be pregnant. I remember being excited I wouldn’t get my period, but it always showed up. After nine months or so I had a feeling something wasn’t right. I went to my OB/GYN and she recommended a series of blood tests and ultrasounds to get a better idea of what might be going on. I went through all the tests and she prescribed medication to stimulate my ovulation.
I am so sorry. That must have been very difficult after a year of trying. Every month you wish and hope that it will be your turn to pee on the pregnancy test and have a positive result. I began to feel defective, less of a woman. You see all your friends getting pregnant and having babies and wonder what is wrong with you. Getting pregnant is supposed to be the most natural thing in the world, but it wasn’t for me.
“…no one understood how broken I felt inside as a woman. The key to my husband and I making it through infertility was to not blame each other…ever.”
Did you have support? Yes. My husband and I talked a lot. He said I was a perfect, beautiful woman. My friends and family tried to be helpful, but no one understood how broken I felt inside as a woman. The key to us making it through was to not blame each other…ever.
How did you end up deciding to undergo In Vitro Fertilization (IVF)? My husband and I visited a fertility specialist and the doctor ran blood and ultrasound tests. We discovered my ovaries wouldn’t ovulate correctly. He recommended IVF.
What is IVF like? It’s taking pills every day, having my husband give me shots in the morning and at night, and monitoring progress with blood draws and ultrasounds to time exactly when the eggs will be ready to be taken out. My hormones flew up and down and I cried a lot. I was so scared it wouldn’t work. But you find strength from somewhere down deep. My desire to be a mom is what drove me to continue to try for a baby. I forged on and the doctor eventually harvested the eggs and fertilized them. They implanted all three of my embryos back inside me.
Did it the IVF procedure work? IVF worked and I became the mother of a beautiful daughter. She is a year old now.
Wow! Congratulations. Thank you. I amazed she is here. I guess that is what every mom thinks. I still have a twinge inside when I call myself a mom.
After suffering through three years of infertility and then having a baby, you feel you shouldn’t be frustrated or exhausted, because you wanted the baby so badly. But every mom gets tired and that’s OK.
How is it being a mom now? It’s wonderful and challenging all in one. She is my miracle and I feel blessed every day. But sometimes I get exhausted and being a mom is hard. After suffering through almost three years of infertility and then having a baby, you feel you shouldn’t be frustrated or exhausted, because you wanted the baby so badly. But every mom gets tired and that’s OK.
You are an inspiration Kelly. I mean that. I am glad you shared your story with us. Thank you. A year has passed and the pain of it all has turned to joy with my daughter now.
For help, guidance, support and resources if you or a friend is dealing with infertility, please go to RESOLVE:The National Infertility Association.
Woman to Woman Questions
When we conclude a serious discussion like this, we like to turn to the light side by asking quick questions with fun answers. Are you ready? Yes!
What is your favorite indulgence?
Housewives of Beverly Hills
Any secret mom behavior you want to share? (laughing) I go to Target and wander the store just to get out of the house.
Person you admire most? Mother Teresa. Her capacity to love was incredible.
What is one thing you would change about your husband? Um, that he would stop leaving his socks on the floor. Drives me nuts.
What would your last words to your child be? Be strong, be yourself; you’re enough.
Maybe that’s something we should all tell ourselves. Anything you wish to leave our readers with? Yes, treasure your children, and if you ever come up against something you don’t think you can overcome; remember, you are stronger than you think you are.
Well said Kelly.
Kelly is a mother of a one-year-old daughter and lives with her husband and three dogs in San Francisco. When not chasing around a toddler she enjoys the city, her work as a painter and nachos.