Should You Ask to Go to the Front of the Line in the Women’s Bathroom?


When the bathroom stalls are full in the women’s bathroom, and I really have to go, should I ask to go to the front of the line or just squeeze my legs together harder?   Asked by Sharon – 30 something – Topeka, KS

Sometimes in life women encounter situations where we don’t quite know what to do.  Do we ask for what we want or remain silent and say nothing?  There is a time to be assertive and a time to be polite.  Let’s see what the panel had to say this week.

heidiJones1I have never been in that situation but I know that if someone else were to ask me I would gladly say please go ahead.  In fact I would hope that I would have noticed the situation and offered before she had ask.  I think women and mothers need to spend more energy look after one another and less energy sizing each other up.  Heidi – 30 something


Amy C.At this point in my life, when bladder control is a luxury I’m blessed with, I’m happy to wait.  I have passed the point when I had young potty-training children to rush to the head of the line, and before the point where my abdominal muscles have abandoned me.  It’s similar to getting help at the grocery store:  used to need, don’t any more, but I know I will again.  Amy C. – 40 something


amyBrownI can feel your pain just reading your question! I say to ask. The worst case scenario (“no way, are you kidding?”) is no worse than what you will end up enduring anyway as you wait hoping that the women in front of you move quickly. There are so many kind hearted women out there that like to help others, and helping you may actually make their day, in addition to yours. Be bold!  Amy B. – 40 something


annGlaserI have a friend  be my “look out” and “yoo hoo” into the men’s toilet!  There is never anyone in there – I cover my eyes as I slip past the disgusting urinals and tinkle as fast as I can!  You should see the looks when I come out-face to face with the next man!  Ann – 50 something


heleneTozierI say “suck it up”.  Everyone in line has to go and if I am in line ahead of you I don’t want to feel like mean person by being the one to say “no you can’t go in front of me because I really have to go as well”.  Of course if you are pregnant and have to go I say ask and I would give up my place in line.  Helene – 60 something


margeGiuntoliSince I am not yet using Depends, I am once more remembering my mother’s firm words when we neared a bathroom, “Go!  I don’t care if you have to or not!”  Usually saves the between the legs squeeze!   If I am stuck in a full stall situation, I check out the line to see who is ahead of me.  Then look to see if any other women are hopping around.  Chances are if they are standing still they don’t have to go as bad as you do, so you can ask to cut in, but be aware there may be someone nasty somewhere else in the line who won’t like it.  If you are really, really desperate, try the sympathy ploy and mention you need to go NOW!  Or, if the men’s room is close by and stalls are available, venture in.  Ask husband, friend or stranger to stand guard.  Older women are more brave about doing this than younger, but what the heck!  When you have to go, you have to go!  Marge – 70 something


So, is it really ok for a woman to use the men’s bathroom?  Let’s ask Jason.

With a proper sentry posted on her behalf, it would be totally OK for a woman to use the men’s room in a pinch.  Having coached girls soccer and softball for many years, we have commandeered men’s rooms as necessary.  It is pretty to clear to this fellow that most architects must be men judging by the lines for ladies’ room at any major social or sporting event!  Jason -40 something

Trust your judgment to evaluate the situation and do what is right for you at that moment.  Never be afraid to ask for what you need.  And try really hard not to hear your Mother’s voice in your head, “Didn’t you go before we left?”