Have You Ever Felt Left Out of Your Girlfriend’s Life?

feeling jealous of a friend

My girlfriend and I have been friends for several years and I consider her one of my closest friends. Her daughter started playing with another mom’s child and now, my friend and the mom are becoming friends.  I find myself jealous of this new friend and a little protective over our friendship.  Is that dumb?  Asked by Shiela – Sheboygan, WI

MarjorieIt’s normal to feel some jealousy when it comes to friends and their new friends. Rather than hold ill feelings toward the situation (and those involved), think of this as an opportunity for you to expand your circle of friends. Maybe this new friend is someone that you can connect with as well, and a friendship between the three of you might be something great. Invite them over for a visit or playdate for the kids and get to know this person a little better. This is also a good time for you look at ways to meet other people who you can connect with and hopefully create more friendships. A close friend is fantastic, but having a good network of friends is also important and rewarding.  Marjorie – 30 Something


Life CoachIf your friend had a similar situation would you think she was dumb for feeling this way?  Probably not.  You are human and as much as we like to feel that we are above jealousy – we get jealous.  Is it possible to go to your friend and just share the truth with her?  Let her know that you really appreciate your friendship and you have been noticing feeling a little jealous.  You don’t need her to change anything she is doing, but as a friend you felt you wanted to share that with her.  The two of you might even have a chuckle about it and I can guarantee that it will strengthen the bond between you.  Jamee – 40 Something


annGlaserUnfortunately, we can choose our children’s friends for only a few years of their lives.   Then, just like us, they choose their own friends.  It can be difficult to lose the connection that comes from the special bond of friendships between both the mother’s and the children.  I suggest working harder on your friendship with the mother-but after kid hours.  Ask her out for a movie or a ladies’ night out.  You can even talk about what a bummer it is that your children aren’t friends any more.  But after that, assure her that you would like to keep her relationship-even if the kids are over theirs.  Then you will have to work on making new friends for your daughter and yourself.  It certainly isn’t dumb and it does hurt.  As your child grows, I suspect this will happen more than once.   It did for me, but through perseverance I have kept the relationship with my girlfriends even when my daughter has moved on.  Ann G. – 50 Something