“MOMMMMMMM!” yells Wil from the playroom.
“Yes?” I answer knowing what is coming next due to the tone and volume of his voice.
“BRAD IS MAKING CLICKING NOISES WITH HIS MOUTH!!!” he screams more loudly.
It is in these moments that I wish I could click my heels three times and go somewhere else rather than home. I know what is coming and I can’t stop it. So, here we go…
“Just ask him to stop,” I answer.
“He won’t stop,” he continues to yell.
“You two work it out,” I say with total confidence that they won’t.
A few minutes go by. I continue to search for the bottom of the kitchen sink. I never seem to be able find it. I haven’t seen the bottom since 2003, sometime in August I think. Dishes seem to pile up from nowhere.
“MOMMMMMM!” screams Brad.
“Yes?” I answer. I continue to rattle the silverware hoping it will drown out the yelling.
“Alpha won’t stop blinking!” he yells.
“Blinking?” I ask. That’s a new one.
“Yes! He is staring at me and blinking!” he continues to lament.
“You two work it out!” I yell back. Again with complete confidence they won’t.
More time goes by. I am getting closer to the bottom of the kitchen sink. I see a glimmer of a drain and I smile with victory imminent.
“MOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!” screams Wil and Brad.
“Yes?” I answer. Now both of them are yelling. This is never a good sign.
“He is making train noises!” whines Brad.
“Well, he is making sniffing noises!” whines Wil.
The banter of back and forth whining continues. I can feel my frustration level reaching full capacity. This is not going to be pretty. They continue to yell and I feel defeated and exhausted. Then something bizarre happened. Something neither me nor my children predicted. The bickering stops and all is quiet…
I begin to cluck and flap my arms like a chicken.
“What is she doing?” asks Brad.
“I am not really sure,” answers Wil.
“Should we call Dad?” asks Brad.
“Um, I don’t know what he would do,” answers Wil.
They just stand there as I continue with my own version of irritating noises.
“Uh, Mom? What are you doing?” they both ask.
“Making my own noises, are they irritating you yet?” I answer.
“No. You look really weird,” Wil says.
“Um, we’re going to go play now, Mom,” Brad says.
“Yeah, we’ll go play,” “You ok Mom?” asks Wil again.
“Cluck, cackle, cluck!” I continue until they are back in the playroom.
I stop clucking and overhear them talking in the playroom.
“What got into her?” asks Brad .
“I’m not sure but it may have something to do with her doing the dishes.” Wil answers.
“Oh well, now what were we doing before Mom lost it?”
“I don’t remember, let’s play race cars.”
Who knew clucking like a chicken would solve the irritating noises issue with kids? Whatever works at the time, though, I am sure it won’t work again. Now to find the bottom of my kitchen sink.